The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about many things but at one point touched on religion. A woman at a nearby table overheard us and I suppose that something I said bothered her so a little later when I was sitting alone she asked if she could talk to me for a few minutes. She seemed nice, so I agreed. She started talking to me about religion. More specifically she started talking to me about what she thinks is wrong with what I believe. This seems to happen often. The reason I'm writing about it now is that in this instance I think I noticed at least one of the reasons that it does happen so often.
She called it doubt. She said that in the things I was saying she noticed a lot of doubt. I call it a willingness to question. Regardless of what you call it this seemed to be the main thing that was bothering her. I don't think it would have mattered what particular sect of what particular faith she followed but in this case it was Church on the Rock Christianity. Now I personally believe in Christianity, though she didn't believe me when I told her so, but it is not the whole of what I believe in. It was the starting point for what I believe in. It helped me to get to where I am today. The problem she had was that, in her opinion, if I did not believe specifically in Christianity to the exclusion of all else then I was wrong. That's it. While she told me these things she seemed very worried for me. I've noticed this pretty often too and I've never understood it. I think I do now. I think that the questioning, the searching for a larger truth, what she would call the doubt, scares people like her to death. I think that she needs that specific thing to grasp onto and to believe in wholeheartedly. I think she needs it just as much as I need to be able to look deeper, to look into more than one teaching, to find something a little less in your face and a little more natural.
I believe very strongly in God. I believe very strongly in religion. What I believe, however, bothers a great many people. I don't think religious arguments, fights, and wars will ever end. I don't think people will ever stop killing each other because they believe that they are right and everyone else is wrong. I know that not everyone feels that way about their faith but a great many people do. I'm going to tell you what bothered me the most about what this woman was telling me. She told me, with a terrifying conviction, that she was glad that we are at war in iraq, she wishes that the government would drill for oil in all of the protected areas, she hopes that we destroy this earth soon, she believes that we have no responsibility for what we do to this earth or to the people on it, and she believes that whatever our leaders tell us to do or do themselves is ok because God put them into those positions. She believes all of this because she thinks the faster we screw this world up and kill everyone off the fast Jesus will come. I asked her if she though we should all just nuke each other, cause a holocaust, and she said yes, because it would bring Jesus faster.
I am not afraid to not specifically believe in Christianity. I am not afraid to look at other religions and to see that in many of the most basic ways a great many of them say the same things. I am not afraid to see that every religion I have researched has some very deep truths surrounded by a lot of ceremony, rules, and fear. I am not afraid, and I will not believe in anything out of fear. I do not believe that God, who created everything, would tie himself down into such a tiny, complicated, conflicted, and tortuous little box. I don't think he would want such a small section of humanity to have the benefit of growing up under his grace and all the rest of the "unsaved" in this world are just unlucky in that they were born somewhere else. I believe that it is about love. I do not believe that it is about having the right book, or the right leader, or following the right ceremony. I don't mean that these are not ways to find God. I think that most of them are. I just don't think, like most of them will tell you, that they are the only way.
God is in all of us from the moment we are brought into this world until the moment we leave it. Anyone can find God. Look into yourself, look into the natural world around you. God is everywhere. I don't believe he can be confined in the ways that we have always tried to confine him. I think it helps many people to understand if He can be made a little smaller. I believe that everyone has the right to believe what they wish to believe. I don't believe that anyone is qualified to tell anyone else that their beliefs are wrong. I think that the refusal to question, the refusal to listen, the refusal to search, to look around, to look deeper, or to see or hear anything outside of the tunnel is fine, but don't tell someone else that they can't. Or shouldn't. Fear is a powerful thing, but I am not afraid. I don't not believe in believing in one faith out of fear that you might be wrong not to. I don't believe that God is that small.
I do believe in Love.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Life is short
If you don't believe that then try reading the thousands of comments that people are leaving on the myspace pages of the students that were killed at Virginia Tech a few days ago. Friends, family, and even stragers have turned what used to be sites dedicated to networking into memorials for these people. It's a stark reminder of how in such a short time a person's life can go from normal to tragic. It's hard to comprehend.
I know that the people in the media feel that they're doing their job, but sometimes it seems like they jump on tragedy with too much enthusiasm and feed on it for too long. They have all the appropriate sad faces and apologetic remarks, but the sadness doesn't seem to carry over to their voices. They are quick to assign blame. They are quick find the angle that brings up the most controversy. That are quick to point out the flaws, the all too human flaws, of those connected with the sad situations. It's hard to listen to. It just seems wrong.
I can't imagine losing a family member so suddenly, so unfairly, to what seems like such an unpredicatable and unfathomable event. I don't think it's a thing that could be imagined by anyone who hasn't experienced it. I think that at a time when the families close to those lost need peace they are instead surrounded by a media frenzy that will not end anytime soon. It's hard to understand why anyone would want to participate in that.
But, then again, who am I to judge. That's not really what I'm trying to do. I don't have all the answers. In fact, I don't have very many at all. I don't really even know how to articulate these things that I'm feeling. I'm sorry to the families that have to deal with lost loved ones not just at Virginia Tech, but every day all over the world. I'm sorry that tv, especially reality tv, has taught the world to feed on other people's emotions no matter what the cost. I'm sorry that privacy, discretion, understanding, and compassion seem to be lost when it comes to ratings and advertising revenue. I'm sorry for the people who's lives are scrutinized and then judged by a mass population who has no right to do either of these things. I'm sorry for every time I've done these things myself.
It's eye opening, however, how much you can learn from someone else's loss. On one of the myspace pages I read, a girl apologized to one of the deceased for not making the time to see him the last time he visited home. It makes me think about all the times I've done similar things out of sheer laziness. It makes me think about all the things I do, and all the things I don't do. It reminds me that there's no excuse for not doing the best I can, no matter what the task. It's a reminder that not everyone gets a chance to try to achieve their dreams. It's a reminder that even needing a reminder is a shame.
No one is perfect. Many of us say that we do the best that we can most of the time. I know that I say it a lot. Things like this make me wonder if I really do. I think about all the people, all over the world, that don't have even a fraction of the opportunity that I do and I wonder what they would think of how much I take advantage of it. I think about the loved ones that I'm surrounded by, and I wonder how many people are so fortunate. I think about all the things that I've said I was going to do and yet I simply didn't. Like everyone else, I have my flaws, but I also have the means to overcome them. I have the ability to do more with my life than I currently do. I have the choice to be a better person.
Life is short. It's easy to talk about that other people are doing wrong with theirs, but it's much harder to confront myself on the things that I am doing wrong. It's even harder to admit that I do a lot of the things that I look down on people for. It's painful even to admit to myself that I look down on people. The point is, there are a lot of ways in which I have wasted too much time judging the lives of other people when I should be spending more of it doing the things that I know I want and need to do. It is an afront to those who will never get the chance. This is not something that I believe that I owe to any individual. It is the mass conglomerate of life in general that I believe we owe this. We live in a world that is flawed, and most of these flaws were created by humanity in general. We, however, are not the only ones here. There are a great many of us that live comfortable, easy lives. A lot of the times we are doing this on the shoulders of a great many more people who are not.
I do not believe in waste, but I waste so much. I do not believe in stripping the earth for economical gain, but I contribute to that in hundreds of ways. I do not believe paying a smaller price for what I get because some company found a group of people that will work for next to nothing, but it probably happens more often than I know. I believe that what this whole train of thought comes down to is taking advantage.
We spend so much of our time and energy looking for ways to take advantage of someone else. We may do it second or third-hand, but we do it all the same. We take advantage emotionally, physically, financially and in pretty much every other way possible. I believe that we get much much more than we have actually payed for. I believe that we need to spend more of our time trying to take advantage of our own abilities, developing our own skills, and earning the things that we consume. This includes time, because life is short and there's not much of it. The point is not how perfect this theory is, nor how workable, nor how flawed. The point is that there are a great many things that we can do to save ourselves from ourselves and it isn't finger-pointing that's going to accomplish any of these things. It's not about legislation, greed, profit, or how the guy next door is worse than I am. It is about what I am. It is about what I do. It is about trying to do as little harm as possible, especially when that harm is caused by something I do not need. It is about one simple truth that will never stop being true.
I could do better.
I know that the people in the media feel that they're doing their job, but sometimes it seems like they jump on tragedy with too much enthusiasm and feed on it for too long. They have all the appropriate sad faces and apologetic remarks, but the sadness doesn't seem to carry over to their voices. They are quick to assign blame. They are quick find the angle that brings up the most controversy. That are quick to point out the flaws, the all too human flaws, of those connected with the sad situations. It's hard to listen to. It just seems wrong.
I can't imagine losing a family member so suddenly, so unfairly, to what seems like such an unpredicatable and unfathomable event. I don't think it's a thing that could be imagined by anyone who hasn't experienced it. I think that at a time when the families close to those lost need peace they are instead surrounded by a media frenzy that will not end anytime soon. It's hard to understand why anyone would want to participate in that.
But, then again, who am I to judge. That's not really what I'm trying to do. I don't have all the answers. In fact, I don't have very many at all. I don't really even know how to articulate these things that I'm feeling. I'm sorry to the families that have to deal with lost loved ones not just at Virginia Tech, but every day all over the world. I'm sorry that tv, especially reality tv, has taught the world to feed on other people's emotions no matter what the cost. I'm sorry that privacy, discretion, understanding, and compassion seem to be lost when it comes to ratings and advertising revenue. I'm sorry for the people who's lives are scrutinized and then judged by a mass population who has no right to do either of these things. I'm sorry for every time I've done these things myself.
It's eye opening, however, how much you can learn from someone else's loss. On one of the myspace pages I read, a girl apologized to one of the deceased for not making the time to see him the last time he visited home. It makes me think about all the times I've done similar things out of sheer laziness. It makes me think about all the things I do, and all the things I don't do. It reminds me that there's no excuse for not doing the best I can, no matter what the task. It's a reminder that not everyone gets a chance to try to achieve their dreams. It's a reminder that even needing a reminder is a shame.
No one is perfect. Many of us say that we do the best that we can most of the time. I know that I say it a lot. Things like this make me wonder if I really do. I think about all the people, all over the world, that don't have even a fraction of the opportunity that I do and I wonder what they would think of how much I take advantage of it. I think about the loved ones that I'm surrounded by, and I wonder how many people are so fortunate. I think about all the things that I've said I was going to do and yet I simply didn't. Like everyone else, I have my flaws, but I also have the means to overcome them. I have the ability to do more with my life than I currently do. I have the choice to be a better person.
Life is short. It's easy to talk about that other people are doing wrong with theirs, but it's much harder to confront myself on the things that I am doing wrong. It's even harder to admit that I do a lot of the things that I look down on people for. It's painful even to admit to myself that I look down on people. The point is, there are a lot of ways in which I have wasted too much time judging the lives of other people when I should be spending more of it doing the things that I know I want and need to do. It is an afront to those who will never get the chance. This is not something that I believe that I owe to any individual. It is the mass conglomerate of life in general that I believe we owe this. We live in a world that is flawed, and most of these flaws were created by humanity in general. We, however, are not the only ones here. There are a great many of us that live comfortable, easy lives. A lot of the times we are doing this on the shoulders of a great many more people who are not.
I do not believe in waste, but I waste so much. I do not believe in stripping the earth for economical gain, but I contribute to that in hundreds of ways. I do not believe paying a smaller price for what I get because some company found a group of people that will work for next to nothing, but it probably happens more often than I know. I believe that what this whole train of thought comes down to is taking advantage.
We spend so much of our time and energy looking for ways to take advantage of someone else. We may do it second or third-hand, but we do it all the same. We take advantage emotionally, physically, financially and in pretty much every other way possible. I believe that we get much much more than we have actually payed for. I believe that we need to spend more of our time trying to take advantage of our own abilities, developing our own skills, and earning the things that we consume. This includes time, because life is short and there's not much of it. The point is not how perfect this theory is, nor how workable, nor how flawed. The point is that there are a great many things that we can do to save ourselves from ourselves and it isn't finger-pointing that's going to accomplish any of these things. It's not about legislation, greed, profit, or how the guy next door is worse than I am. It is about what I am. It is about what I do. It is about trying to do as little harm as possible, especially when that harm is caused by something I do not need. It is about one simple truth that will never stop being true.
I could do better.
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